School of Hard Knocks
by Kebiin
Summary: Vader becomes a teacher. Have fun trying to get through the period without being mangled. Vader's POV.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a random idea that I had. I know it's not standard or proper English, but that's what I was going for. Please excuse the errors in punctuation that I'm sure I've made. This is really just a pointless story. It was just fun to write. I came up with the idea while talking to a friend about Boba Fett...strange.

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Okay, so I applied for a job recently. I got tired of taking orders from the old fart…I know you all know who I'm talking about. Anyways, I got hired as a science teacher for like, middle school and stuff. I'm sure you're wondering how. *chuckles* Let's just say that the old science teacher had a little…mishap.

**STAFF MEETING**

Anyways… there was a meeting or something like that for staff. It was a 90 minute meeting, so I walk in and the dude's all mad and he starts chewing me out about being late. I mean really! I was only like 86 minutes late. No big deal. *shrugs* So anyways, I walk in and (in the middle of his gripe session) he's like "Have a seat." and I'm like "No thanks, I'll stand." then he's like "No. Have a seat." and I'm like "Nah, I'll stand. Those chairs are way too low to the ground and this suit rides up a little if I sit wrong." So I kept standing. Then he starts complaining about my breathing…he's all like "Don't breathe so loudly. It's distracting." and I'm all like "I don't care what you think it is." So the remainder of the meeting was spent with him yelling at me and me ignoring him. *smiles* I think I made a good first impression.

**FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL**

Okay, first of all, I had to wake up at 6:40. I was upset about that and I didn't get my coffee. I was in a really foul mood after that. I got in my fighter and headed to work. I couldn't find a parking space, so I made one. I kinda flattened this other teacher's car in the process. Of course, she would have to be standing _right there_ looking out the window when it happened. She came barreling out of the front doors screaming and going on about insurance or something like that. I wasn't in the mood, so I was just like "Shut up. Don't care." and I went on into the building. On the way to my class, I stopped by the lounge to get a cup of coffee. After downing that, I felt good enough to go find out what I'd be teaching without causing heads to roll.

**FIRST PERIOD**

I walked in and the classroom was empty. For a minute there, I got happy…then the first kid walked in. He was a short stumpy kid who sat right in front of my desk and gave me this goofy wave as he took his seat. Weirdo. I stood there waiting for the rest of the class to come in. No one ever came. So I was stuck for 50 minutes in a class with… *makes air quotations* short stumpy kid. I'm like "Oooookay…I'm guessing you're the only one in this class so I gue-" That's as far as I got 'cause the little twerp's hand shot up and he starts waving it around. It scared the crap outta me. Anyways, his hand shot up and he's all like "oohoohoohoohoohoohoohHEY!" and I'm like "oohoohoohoohoohoohWHAT!" and he's like "Can I go to the bathroom?" I'm like "No." He was to scared to protest, so I continued to ignore him until he jumped up and started doing this stupid potty dance. So he's standing there crossing his legs and twisting around and goin' "AAGGGHHHHH I gotta go!" At this point, I'm almost doubled over laughing, so I'm just like, "Yeah, go on." Stumpy ran out of the room and to the bathroom. After a few minutes, he returned and sat back down. His hand shot up…again. *rolls eyes* I asked what he wanted and he goes "Can I go to the bathroom?" I'm like "You just freakin' went." and he's all like "I know but I need to go again." So I let him leave and he came back and sat down. Not even thirty seconds later, he raises his hand again. This time, he wants to sharpen his pencil. I let him sharpen his pencil and he raised his hand again. He goes "What are we gonna do in class today?" I flipped through my physics book and thought for a minute before coming up with a project. I told him that we were going to study the motion of projectiles launched at an angle. He seemed excited right up until the time that I picked him up, and used the Force to launch him through the window at a 24.6 degree angle. *grins* I love Physics. About 30 minutes later, the second period bell rang.

**SECOND PERIOD**

I was looking forward to my second period class after seeing the size of my first one. I was just sure that second period would also be small. It wasn't. Unfortunately, it was a class of about twenty students expecting to learn something about biology. I really had no idea what to teach them, so I told them to just talk or whatever until the period was over as long as they kept the noise down. One group of kids got up to inspect the shattered window. After studying it for a few minutes, this one kid asked me what happened. I told him that it was an experiment and his eyes got all wide. He asked what we were studying and I told him that we were studying projectile motion and Force. The rest of the class went smoothly until shortly before the bell. There was a small group of girls clustered in the corner and a bug ran across the table near them. They were all freaked out and screaming and stuff, so I went back there and smashed it. It was remarkably…juicy. It ended up being smeared all over the table and my glove, so I wiped my glove off on the first thing I saw. *laughs* Then it was smeared all over the table and the back of some kid's shirt. He noticed and got all grossed out around the time that the bell was ringing. He ended up being the first one out of the room. *feigns innocence* I can't imagine why. *chuckles*

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So...


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing.

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LUNCH

The junior high lunch period was after second and I had duty. I was supposed to *makes air quotations* "supervise" the kids and make sure that they didn't kill themselves or each other, but I didn't. Kids that old shouldn't need a babysitter. Anyways, I went outside and there's like this little path going through the flower bed and stuff. So I'm walking along, looking at the flowers and then I accidentally stepped on this little pansy. I felt bad until the kid ran off screaming and crying like a little… well, pansy. It made me wonder what the little twerp was doing in the walkway like that. *shrugs* Oh well. Aside from that, not much happened. I stood around. Kids ran around. Then the bell rang.

**THIRD PERIOD**

Third period turned out to be another physics class. I was thrilled! I already had my lesson plan ready. Projectile motion. Definitely. Unfortunately for me, this class was a bit larger. I had about 12 students, so I decided on a different project. I figured we could go outside, push a bus and learn about the amount of force needed to move an object. So I got all of the kids together and I got in the bus so I could steer while they pushed. I got a stop watch and I'm like "Go." and all the kids start pushing. Guess how much the bus moved. GUESS! Not a stinkin' inch. They were all back there straining and I'm like "Push! Put some effort into it." and they're like "We are." Due to the fact that they were straining, it came out more like "weeeeeeeeeeeee…aaaareee." After watching them struggle for a while longer, I decided to help them out and get off of the brake. *laughs*When the bus finally starts moving and I lean out the window and go "See. I knew you could do it." They were all grumbling and stuff. *chuckles* While they were pushing, this one kid goes asked me when they could stop pushing. I'm like "You can stop when I tell you." We proceeded to go a bit further and then I'm like "STOP!" I made one of the kids come around and push the little button for me. After a few seconds, a guy's voice came over the speaker. He was like "Hi. Welcome to Sonic. May I take your order?" and I'm like "Yeah. I'll have a popcorn chicken combo with tator tots and a sonic burger." The dude told me how much it would be and I was like "Okay." Of course, I had no intention of paying the amount. When he brought me my food, I used a mind trick on him to make him forget about the money. I had actually forgotten about my students until one kid decided that he was gonna be all brave and stuff. He was all like "I can't believe you made us push you all the way to Sonic." and I was like "So? I haven't had lunch yet. Besides, this way, they can't complain about me wasting gas." From that point nothing really happened except for me enjoying my meal while the kids pushed the bus back to the school. When we finally got back and put the bus up, the bell was ringing.

**FIFTH PERIOD**

Last class of the day. I'm sure you're wondering what happened to fourth period. Long story short, we traveled through it. The bell that rang when we got back was the end of fourth or beginning of fifth. Whatever you wanna call it. Anyways, I walked back into my classroom and my class was already there. They were all staring at me like I should have been there earlier or something. Then this chick knocks on the door and she's all like "You're wanted at the office." and I'm like "I have a class. I'll be there eventually." and she's like "I've been sent to watch your class for you, so you can leave." so I'm like "Fine." I go down to the office and they fired me. ME! I couldn't believe it. They claim that I'm not a safe person to have around the kids. *huffs* I mean really! I only hurt one kid…wait, there was also that one…and that other guy and uhhhhmmmm…those two and w- NEVERMIND! It doesn't really matter. Well, I guess that's all the important stuff. Bye now. *leaves*

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Well, that's a wrap. :)


End file.
